It's only been a week since we lost Briggs, but it feels like a lifetime ago.
It's a very strange feeling.
I look back to what I was doing 7 days ago. If I could go back I would spend more time just being with her, taking her for a walk or giving her treats. I would spend more time being present with her and not worrying about the endless to-do list.
A lot of our lives are lived in the "what ifs". "What if I did this..." or "What if I took that risk..." or "What if I hadn't done this...". If I allow myself to stay in that place for too long, the tears start to reappear. I have to rest in the fact that she knew how much she was loved.
Can I tell you something? I miss that face. Not the cute puppy face - mostly because she was a naughty puppy - but that gray, wrinkled face. I miss her snuggles and her breath on my face. I miss her laying in front of the sliding glass door because that was the warmest spot in the house. I miss her craziness after a bath and how she would let out one little bark when the mailman rang the doorbell. I just miss her presence.
I've found myself looking for her, not even thinking. I've called for the girls and realize we just have one. We haven't had one dog for 9 years so the house feels quieter somehow.
As much as her passing left me heartbroken, knowing that she made the decision for us on when she was going to leave us is something that has brought peace to my heart. Knowing that she took her last breath in her home, in her living room, with her people, is the best way she could have said goodbye. Passing at home, allowed me space and time to talk to my boys and allow them to hug her one more time. It allowed me time to say good-bye all by myself. For what a good dog she was, she deserved that long, final good-bye, and every tear that has been shed afterwards. She deserved to have people there with her at the end who loved her with every fiber of their beings - and she did.
“Such short little lives our pets have to spend with us, and they spend most of it waiting for us to come home each day.” – John Grogan
Good-bye sweet girl.